you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
