those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
So many bounce houses so little time
We are two peas in an std pod
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
