I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize