$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
