Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i came on her dog
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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