I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
