I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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