Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I think your dad took our porno
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
