just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
