It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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