I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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