I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
