All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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