you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
