When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
