Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Oh god it's open bar.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
