Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
