areolas are like halos for boobs.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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