worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
