i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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