even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
