Define "chronic" masturbator.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
