take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
