I can feel you judging me through the phone.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
