...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
