can u get pink eye on your cock?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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