the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
