1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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