i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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