i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
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