Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
