it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You're like the curious george of whores
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize