a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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