Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Farmville is her only friend.
She even gives head with a lisp.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
