I wanna bring you to show and tell
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
