what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
