stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
