you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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