the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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