you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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