But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
someone owes me an orgasm
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
BRING THE BAGELS
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
