remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
