Are we in a gay sports bar?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
