: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
