ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
