He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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