i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
