I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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