This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
