like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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