Buhtt sex?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
