I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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