I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
