Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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