Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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