Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
