i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
