He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
