A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
