He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Four minutes until I can fart!
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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