My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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