I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
