I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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