she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Randomize
