My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
