I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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