I want to stick my p in your. b.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
