one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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