I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
