Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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