How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
