in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
