Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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